You are viewing docbrite

Pain Scale

Spoonbill
What is even the pain scale? How are you supposed to pick a number? Is 10 equivalent to, like, being burned alive at the stake? It's not supposed to be the worst pain you've ever felt, but the worst you can imagine. Well, I can imagine a lot. They don't know they're dealing with the guy who wrote the infamous screwdriver scene. So if I say I'm feeling a 7, that's pretty damn bad.

Sorry, I am delirious with pain and for once it's not my damn back, but my damn teeth, which have been plaguing me. Help is on the way, though.

Balloon-Strings

Spoonbill
This sleep experiment has some interesting effects. This morning at Wal-Mart, I felt like Ralph Roberts with his balloon-strings. I couldn't quite see them coming out the tops of people's heads, but everyone was suddenly very vivid and gorgeously colored, just regular people going about their regular business, and yet star stuff.

(When I told Grey everyone at Wal-Mart was beautiful, he said, "Yep, we need to get you to bed.")

I Am Here

Did I miss a day already? I don't know anymore, because we don't have the usual number of sleeps and waking periods; I'm just endeavoring to write in here every 24 hours or so. Tonight I was lighting a candle, and I thought, I am here; I am in this place because I have chosen to be, and I do what I choose, not what anyone else wants me to do, and I do my best to take care of the ones I love, and most of the time I can, and that is a good life.

Noodle & Pie

People seem to have taken my previous entry as an exhortation, when it was really only a personal resolution -- but if it gets more folks back to LJ, I suppose that's good. I know this is no longer a fashionable blogging platform, but the things that are popular, like Instagram, I don't understand. Old fogies of the Internet, unite.

Today we had lunch at Noodle & Pie, Eman Loubier's ramen joint on Magazine Street. Both the noodles and the pie were excellent. Grey was very game about eating ramen, though he poked dubiously at his soft-boiled egg and gave me the hairy eyeball for having told him nori was "a kind of flavoring" when he could see that it was, in fact, seaweed.

Resolution

Spoonbill
Help revive Livejournal. Write something here every day. Don't just post stuff for sale or reposts from Facebook. Don't worry about whether it is crappy or embarrassing. Today's thought is about how we are attempting to emulate the sleep patterns of our cats. We sleep in short stretches when we feel like it, work when we are awake. So far, Grey is more productive than ever. Myself, I'm not sure about yet, but I seem to be doing OK. Not so much art, but lots of Voodoo/hoodoo work for people. I seem to be specializing in honey jars.

Tags:

Mignon Faget Fleur de Lis

I am selling my 14-karat gold Mignon Faget fleur de lis pendant. This pendant has traveled all over the world with me, including two book tours, and has been blessed by a Catholic priest and a Voodoo houngan. A symbol of New Orleans' resiliency and a piece that lived close to my heart for a long time.

http://cgi.ebay.com/ws/eBayISAPI.dll?ViewItem&item=111451679710

DSCN3263

If You Were A Man

I'm due for a testosterone shot today, but I won't be having one because my latest doctor apparently cares more about covering his ass than he does about his patients' well-being. I thought we got along well at my first visit several months ago; he admitted he didn't know much about trans health care, but seemed willing to learn. He also sent me for some pricey blood work, but when you see a new doctor, that's to be expected. I got the blood work, got my T prescription, and was fine until it ran out last month, at which point I called his office to see if I needed to come in or could just get a refill. Here is my best attempt at paraphrasing his return call.

DR: Is this Ms. Brite?

ME: Uh, this is MISTER Brite.

DR: Yes, well, I got the results of your blood work here and ... I don't know how to read it. You've seen those commercials about the dangers of testosterone? I mean, if you were a man, these results would be normal, but ... I just don't know about this stuff. I need you to have your previous doctor send me your blood levels.

Those italics are mine, and yes, he really said "if you were a man." At our visit, I was very clear about my gender identity. I realize that many doctors are biological essentialists, but in my opinion, that doesn't exempt them from acting like decent human beings. I'm not even going to get into his apparent inability to educate himself, or to maybe, you know, fucking ADMIT TO ME THAT HE WASN'T GOING TO before having me spend $250 on useless lab work.

I have an appointment with a new doctor, a GP who is reportedly educated on and sympathetic to trans issues, but not until next week. In the meantime, I have Internet-ordered testosterone that cost twice as much as my regular prescription coming from Slovakia, but it's not here yet.

A few months ago, I made this shadowbox titled "It Costs $10,000 To Be A Man." I was thinking of surgery, but by the time I die, I wouldn't be surprised if I've spent that much just on doctor appointments.

1jan03-14-1asmall

Shark's Tooth & Sea Glass Pendant

Here is a popular piece from my shop, a pendant made from green sea glass, a real shark's tooth, and a tiny shark charm. I currently have two of these available, and more (with a slightly different bead) coming soon.

DSCN2834small

It's $24 and comes on a 30" black silk cord, or can go on your own chain. This seems like a good time to post a reminder that all my jewelry comes with a lifetime guarantee; if your piece breaks in the course of normal wear or use, please return it to me and I'll repair it at no cost to you.

Strange Memories

Strange memories on this nervous night in Las Vegas. Five years later? Six? It seems like a lifetime, or at least a Main Era -- the kind of peak that never comes again. San Francisco in the middle sixties was a very special time and place to be a part of. Maybe it meant something. Maybe not, in the long run ... but no explanation, no mix of words or music or memories can touch that sense of knowing that you were there and alive in that corner of time and the world. - Hunter S. Thompson

This quote from Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas runs over and over through my head tonight, a near-perfect expression of being homesick for a place or a time or both. For me, it's always Amsterdam; I dream many times a week of being there, and try to imagine a scenario that would ever allow me to return, but it's hard to do that when even the purchase of a new pair of sandals from Wal-Mart wreaks enough budgetary havoc to give me pause. In some ways, my life was awful four or five years ago compared to now, because there was no love in it. In some other ways, though, I wish I'd appreciated how good I had it back then.

Strangely, my dream-Amsterdam contains several places that, though they do not exist in the actual city, remain consistent from dream to dream: an amusement park; an arcade full of tiny, authentic Asian restaurants; a wooden museum surrounded by lush tropical foliage. I also spend a lot of dream-time in the coffeeshops, though, and all of those are real.

Latest Month

November 2014
S M T W T F S
      1
2345678
9101112131415
16171819202122
23242526272829
30      

Tags

Syndicate

RSS Atom
Powered by LiveJournal.com
Designed by Jared MacPherson