This video has been cheering me up at difficult moments. I linked to it in comments the other day, but want to embed it for interested parties who didn't see it there.





Just listed several new eBay auctions: the chapbooks Would You?, Used Stories, Stay Awake, Crown of Thorns, and The Feast of St. Rosalie (a hardcover); also a hardcover copy of Antediluvian Tales. My blank journals and other handmade objects are also still available until Wednesday evening.

Also, Grey has listed a one-of-a-kind photograph for sale, and a very beautiful one, too. Angel that he is, he has earmarked his profit from the sale of this piece as my testosterone fund.

For my birthday, I got ... misgendered. Constantly. Everywhere I went. And it was almost all in queer spaces, and it was all done unintentionally and as kindly as could be, by well-meaning folks, so I couldn't even work up a righteous head of indignation; I just got depressed.

I am not making progress. Part of it is that I haven't been able to afford my full doses of testosterone -- the treatment runs a little over $300 a month, which I pay completely out of pocket -- and so I've been stretching it out to half-doses, figuring some T going into my system was better than none. (Medically speaking, this isn't wholly unsound, as many trans guys start off on low doses.)

Thanks to Grey, I had a wonderful birthday weekend anyway. When we're alone together, the rest of the world recedes to the point where even gender seems relatively unimportant. And he can always boost my confidence, and he's so romantic, and he even seems to think I'm interesting. I know, the man must be deranged, but I sure do love him.

Re: misgendering, there was a good moment of comic relief at the drag show we attended last night. Local drag diva Bootsy DeVille was talking to us at the bar at Michael's on the Park before her show, and she turned to me and said, "I have a question for you. Now it's hard for me to phrase this right ... " Grey and I were both bracing for The Question, which I wouldn't have really minded answering for Bootsy, but instead she said rather hesitantly, "Did you use to be the boyfriend of a famous writer? Because we were googling Billy Martin, and there seemed to be some connection ... "

After collapsing with laughter, we explained as best we could, and only later did I realize I should have said, "Why yes, I used to date Stephen King, but I dumped him for Grey!"

If you want to leave me good wishes, that would make me happy!

The mail continues to bring treats, including a signed copy of Caitlín's The Drowning Girl. Very much looking forward to reading this one. Thank you, greygirlbeast! In your honor, I shall try to write something resembling a real entry. With, you know, thoughts and stuff. Not just random observations and eBay listings (though I do have some of those).

Life is ... sticky. I guess that's the best way to describe it. Not precisely bad, but difficult. Literally so, because the air conditioning in my house is broken and we're heading into another long, sweaty, tyrannical New Orleans summer. Most luxuries have fallen by the wayside, and necessities are starting to do so. Yet I live in interesting times, both personally, by being in a relationship that brings me joy and creative inspiration, and globally, by feeling -- as I seldom did growing up -- that we are living on the right side of history. The other day I sent Grey a text saying, basically, we may be old by the time it comes, but I think we'll live to see a day when today's last-gasp homophobes look as benighted as the news footage of rabid bigots screaming at black children integrating the public schools. (I didn't want to be a Negative Nancy, so I didn't add that I don't expect to live to see a day when transgender people are anywhere near as accepted.) Meanwhile, there are still "religious" nutjobs who want to put us all behind electric fences and courts that give evil little shitweasels thirty damn days in prison for hounding us to death, but society no longer seems to be in tacit agreement with those people as it did when I was younger.

One more paragraph for Caitlín. Christ, when you get out of the habit of writing, forcing yourself to do it starts to feel like weightlifting. I have little puny stringy 98-pound-weakling writing muscles. If I do any more reps, I'll make them sore. Clang.

So about those eBay auctions ... they are all crafty things, two more blank journals, a copy of Exquisite Corpse with a redesigned cover by me, and a "homoerotic botanic" treasure box. Please check 'em out.

Can I just say how sick I am of gorgeous actresses "dressing as men" and allegedly passing? Yeah, just put your hair up and wear a tie, and everyone's going to think you're a dude. It's that easy.

I've made a bunch of new stuff, but none of it is quite finished yet, so I've listed some regular books on eBay. This isn't just any old PZB auction week, though. No, this is Bidding Starts At $5 Week! The chapbooks Stay Awake and Crown of Thorns, as well as hardcover copies of Plastic Jesus, Wrong Things, Antediluvian Tales, and even the deluxe tenth anniversary edition of Lost Souls, are all available for opening bids of just $5.

Besides blank journals, treasure boxes, and new covers for old books, I've also been making captions. Grey takes a photograph and writes a piece of prose to go with it, and I turn the prose piece into a sort of artwork to accompany the photograph. You can see one of our pieces and read more about the process in his blog entry here.

Since my "special edition" of Drawing Blood was well received, I'm working on a unique hardcover copy of Exquisite Corpse incorporating Grey's photos as well as other patterns and textures. It's bloody and decay-y, but (I think) kind of gorgeous.

I'm sorry I haven't made a real entry in a while. There are things I want to talk about, but I've been feeling mostly non-verbal. I am making a lot of stuff, though. Images seem to rule my world right now.

When people send me things from my wish list, I like to send them actual, physical thank-you notes. Unfortunately, Amazon no longer includes the gift-giver's mailing address, so I can't do that anymore. Instead, I offer a big public thank-you to Carl Kesner, Lisa Warner, Ed Stites, Jeremy Karass, and Kelly Wright for the lovely birthday gifts. Hope y'all see this. And not to drop hints, but HOLY SHIT THIS IS THE LONGEST I'VE EVER GONE WITHOUT READING A STEPHEN KING BOOK AFTER ITS RELEASE.

eBay auctions ending this evening: two of my handmade blank books and the copy of Drawing Blood for which I made a new cover. Check 'em out!

Also: blank book auctions ending this evening (the last two listings in the store).

So back when I was making blank books a couple of years ago, one of my biggest problems was that I wanted to use photographic images in my collages, but didn't want to steal them from their creators or mess with getting dozens of permissions. Clearly the only solution was to start dating a photographer with a vast and gorgeous repository of images, especially if said images are homoerotic and/or set in New Orleans. When we met, I didn't even know Grey Cross was a photographer, let alone that he would inspire me to be creative again after years of lying fallow. But there was an immediate, definite, and loud click when we met, and I'm not surprised that I have found myself moved to collaborate with him.

Here are our collaborations (the three newest listings). I spent most of last week either making them or sleeping, and now they are on eBay. As well as two blank journals/sketchbooks, there's also a hardcover of Drawing Blood for which I have made a new cover out of Grey's work and other materials. I'm excited about these projects and hope you'll check out the pictures even if you can't bid.