I don't get to go shooting today, as the range Harry wanted to take me to is closed Sundays, but we're going Thursday, and tonight I get a nice dinner.

Here are the gifts I received from Chris:

- An all-expenses paid trip to Grand Isle

- A T-shirt with a picture of an owl saying "WHOOO DAT?"

- A $100 shopping spree for marine supplies at the Golden Meadow Tru-Value Hardware Store

- A pair of sterling silver earrings shaped like beans, the musical fruit

This just in from Harry T, who's taking me shooting later this week:

When was the last time someone told you that part of your Birthday presents was going to be a box of bullets? No flowers or candy for you.

What kind of friends do you have and hang out with, old man?

I have a feeling I'm going to need a gun icon soon. For now, I'll use another phallic symbol.