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With Relish!

One of my recent really bad habits is just not wanting to bother to eat. Sometimes I do the right thing and have an Ensure or a smoothie. Sometimes, though, I do the Very Wrong Thing and look at disgusting material to kill my appetite entirely. Blood and guts don't do it for me; they're interesting but not sickening. What grosses me out most is bodily secretions, so imagine my joy when I found this seemingly endless "Tell us about your most disgusting experience" thread on a nurse's forum. (No pictures, but DO NOT CLICK unless you want to find out what makes my gorge rise, and I have a strong gorge. Nurses are hardcore, man.)

Anyway, I was sitting here moping around the Internet, and my train of thought went something like this: ... Kinda hungry ... think there might still be a couple of hot dogs in the fridge ... maybe I should fix myself a hot dog ... but I'd have to dig my way out from under this pile of cats and heat up the oven to crisp the bun and waaaah waaaah waaaah ... say, maybe I'll take a look at that nurses' forum.

And the first story I came across was THIS:


It had to be TODAY! I had a patient who had a FB [foreign body, not Facebook -- PZB] up his rectum. Surgeon tried to get it out from below because she did not want to open his belly. It was a glass jar and we could see the gold metal cap when she spread open his rectum. She tried prying it only to have the top come off and what came out was------------------ SWEET RELISH! The place smelled like a hot dog stand. She managed to get the jar out while doing no damage. The guy was very lucky, but some of us are going to have a hard time eating any hot dogs in the future. Mike

Now as you might guess, things up asses aren't one of my big squicks, but I could just about smell that lovely blend of relish and rectum. Couldn't you?

So maybe I won't have a hot dog.

Hey, the Saints are out of the playoffs and it's threatening to sleet. DON'T JUDGE ME OK.

Comments

( 36 comments — Leave a comment )
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sharkbait
Jan. 10th, 2011 02:22 am (UTC)
I'm a nurse and love reading these! I'm afraid even my worst moments don't top some of those stories, thank goodness. :)
jeffpalmatier
Jan. 10th, 2011 03:03 am (UTC)
I know my own limitations, so I'm almost 100% sure I couldn't do what all of you do. Nurses definitely have my respect!
(no subject) - mariadkins - Jan. 10th, 2011 03:16 am (UTC) - Expand
(no subject) - jeffpalmatier - Jan. 10th, 2011 03:52 am (UTC) - Expand
(no subject) - mariadkins - Jan. 10th, 2011 04:30 am (UTC) - Expand
elsewhereangel
Jan. 10th, 2011 02:35 am (UTC)
i know this comment isn't brilliant but DAMN- that made me snort milk through my nose. :)

i don't think i could've eaten a hotdog after that either.
dragonet2
Jan. 10th, 2011 02:55 am (UTC)
One of the things I miss all the time
about my long-ago medical library job was all the articles/reports about people (and animals, JAVMA use to always have an 'x-ray of the weed.').

The most scary were things like a siamese kitty that swallowed a knitting needle -- the x--ray was amazing. The needle managed not to hit anything important in the kitteh's body, though it pretty much ran from stem to stern in the x-ray.

The funniest/worst was the report of a guy who accidentally sanded one gonad off during his lunch hour. He'd been pressing himself against a belt sander during his lunch hour to get his nuts off. Then, "Whoops, there it goes." He didn't go to an ER for a day or two, and it was likely a mess to clean up.
mariadkins
Jan. 10th, 2011 03:03 am (UTC)
One of my recent really bad habits is just not wanting to bother to eat

since i started prozac, i find i have to remind myself, "hey, it's mealtime!"
jeffpalmatier
Jan. 10th, 2011 03:07 am (UTC)
Jeez, nothing seems to interfere with my appetite! The closest I came to that was when I was on some anti-anxiety drug and I slept a lot of the time. I wasn't eating as much as usually did because of being asleep, so I lost weight. The drug I'm on now doesn't seem to have any side effects. I wonder if I could get one to curb my sweet tooth? :-D
(no subject) - mariadkins - Jan. 10th, 2011 03:08 am (UTC) - Expand
(no subject) - kwanboa - Jan. 10th, 2011 04:45 am (UTC) - Expand
(no subject) - mariadkins - Jan. 10th, 2011 04:49 am (UTC) - Expand
(no subject) - docbrite - Jan. 10th, 2011 03:13 am (UTC) - Expand
(no subject) - mariadkins - Jan. 10th, 2011 03:16 am (UTC) - Expand
(no subject) - mariadkins - Jan. 10th, 2011 04:50 am (UTC) - Expand
(no subject) - docbrite - Jan. 10th, 2011 04:59 am (UTC) - Expand
(no subject) - mariadkins - Jan. 10th, 2011 05:00 am (UTC) - Expand
(no subject) - chiropteryx - Jan. 10th, 2011 09:48 am (UTC) - Expand
kwanboa
Jan. 10th, 2011 04:12 am (UTC)
I have that trouble all the time, actually. It's leftover from the eating-disordered days. When I get stressed or sick beyond normal levels, I stop wanting to eat. Nothing in the fridge looks good except the beer/cider/whatever, and no, must eat if you wanna booze it, BoA honey.

I usually either call for pizza delivery or go to the store and look at things until I find something that trips my "wanna eat it" trigger and I do. I don't binge on junk food, nor do I eat much junk in the first place, so this method is safe.

I've also lately found that Buddy Fruits are the best thing in existence for this. You don't even have to CHEW.
beezerbub
Jan. 10th, 2011 04:29 am (UTC)
*falls over laughing*

Awww...no.
dethbird
Jan. 10th, 2011 04:59 am (UTC)
See? This is what I need. Not meta horror. My argument for not reading that outre stuff is that it rubs its genitals all over reality. if I want to read something like that (with the exception of t. winter-damon) I read websites like this one.

rosefox
Jan. 10th, 2011 05:47 am (UTC)
DO NOT READ THIS COMMENT UNLESS YOU'RE STILL LOOKING FOR GROSS STUFF

Ever since encountering the phrase "gonorrhea in the colostomy hole" I've been pretty much unsquickable.
jamethiel_bane
Jan. 10th, 2011 10:21 am (UTC)
... impressive. And I thought I'd seen everything with the guy with chlamydia his eye. (It's a mucous membrane :D?)
(no subject) - rosefox - Jan. 10th, 2011 03:28 pm (UTC) - Expand
that forum - sicksadie - Jan. 11th, 2011 03:48 am (UTC) - Expand
Re: that forum - rosefox - Jan. 11th, 2011 03:49 am (UTC) - Expand
dizzy88
Jan. 10th, 2011 06:34 am (UTC)
exactly why I can't go near a KFC or walk down Bourbon Street in the spring....as long as it never smells like chocolate life is worth living.
absurddelight
Jan. 10th, 2011 06:34 am (UTC)
That was kind of hilarious... I've always hated relish though. Now I've got to wonder why the dude thought it was a good enough idea to give it a try, and how much lube or effort it took to get it in there.
I've been going through a nothing sounds good enough to eat phase, and even if I go to the store I just stare at the aisles and waste a lot of time. I usually go with coffee, Naked Juice (I wish it was as entertaining as it sounds) or Vitamin Water, so that I at least have delusions of health.
suzycat
Jan. 10th, 2011 10:57 am (UTC)
Doc, I am concerned about you. Eat food, goddammit.
arkady
Jan. 10th, 2011 12:20 pm (UTC)
Takes more than that to put me off my food I'm afraid. I can read or hear about the grossest things and carry on eating without missing a mouthful or pausing. In fact I read that, then went and fixed scrambled eggs for myself and my 3-year-old daughter - and that right there is the reason why I'm immune to grossness; I've dealt with enough bodily fluids over 18 years of motherhood and 3 kids to be pretty blase over them.
tamago23
Jan. 10th, 2011 12:36 pm (UTC)
I'm not sure what this says about me, but I had no problem eating oatmeal with flaxseeds while reading a lot of stories on that site.
niamh_sage
Jan. 10th, 2011 03:20 pm (UTC)
That thread is an education. Wow.
whiskydaemon
Jan. 10th, 2011 04:26 pm (UTC)
The Seahawks beating the Saints was a major, major letdown.

Hope you don't hate me for this but given where I live, I'll be rooting for the Falcons until they're eliminated. Returning to Saintsdom the moment the next NFL season starts, promise.
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( 36 comments — Leave a comment )

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