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Late last night I ate a delicious green onion sausage. Unfortunately, I'm now awake with the worst heartburn of my life. I've been reading people's summations of 2012, mostly how crappy it was, and I realized that while I couldn't call this a wholly successful year, it definitely wasn't crappy. To wit:

I was, and am, poorer than I've ever been. But I started making visual art in a major way for the first time since my teens, and most of what I've made has sold. My beloved partner of 22 years moved out on January 1, but I've spent the subsequent time with a new partner who amazes me every day. I've lived a whole year as Billy. I've made loads of progress transitioning and am sometimes passing as male now; at the very least, I'm confusing people, which to me is way better than just being read as female.

My album of 2012 was probably Billy Joel's Storm Front. My most all-consuming reading material was George R.R. Martin's A Song of Ice and Fire series. My viewing material was mostly old Jerry Lewis movies and Family Guy reruns. It wasn't a real highbrow year.

One thing I especially sucked at this year was social interaction. I've failed to comment on just about every issue of the year, I've been very neglectful about replying to comments here, and I haven't done much better at keeping in touch with real-life friends. It's a strange time and I'm feeling less verbal than ever before in my life -- some folks have suggested this may be a temporary effect of the testosterone -- but even if I have seemed to ignore you, it truly helps to know you are out there rooting for me.


( 14 comments — Leave a comment )
Dec. 31st, 2012 05:16 pm (UTC)
Perhaps in 2013 we can finally get together and I can give you the shirt I bought for you months ago. ;)

Happy New Year, Billy!
Dec. 31st, 2012 05:22 pm (UTC)
I think you texted me about that right before my phone got cut off! It's still off, so I apologize for never responding...
Dec. 31st, 2012 08:47 pm (UTC)
No worries. Soon! Lunch is in order, methinks.
Dec. 31st, 2012 05:32 pm (UTC)
:Is rooting for you:

It kind of makes sense, though. You spent SO many years of your life being nothing but verbal and interactive. Now you're moving into a phase where you are much more visual, conceptual. It follows that your daily activities would reflect that transition.
I, for one, have been loving your paintings. But then, I've loved your writing too. You've got a great brain. ;)

Know what I wish for you, specifically, for 2013? Contentment. Inner peace.
And a fruitful scotch bonnet crop. :D
Dec. 31st, 2012 05:52 pm (UTC)
Happy New Year to you. May 2013 bring you all the love and sex and friendship and gorgeous paintings you desire, and the financial resources to allow you a comfortable, safe environment for your creativity to flourish.
(Deleted comment)
Dec. 31st, 2012 08:21 pm (UTC)
I'm incredibly proud of you. You've gone through some major shit & I am admiring how you've survived.

Also, I'm glad someone else said something about the T being the reason you're less verbose now! I've been meaning to put that out there-- Billy is not Poppy. That's something everyone is just going to have to learn to accept (& dude... you too). I read your changes in your posts here & I see your changes in your art.

I'm looking forward to seeing where 2013 takes you.
Dec. 31st, 2012 10:07 pm (UTC)
me = rooting for you, yes.
Dec. 31st, 2012 11:15 pm (UTC)
The best of wishes for 2013, Billy.
Jan. 1st, 2013 12:14 am (UTC)

Truthfully, I'm very pleased to hear all this. You deserve ever better years, and I utterly admire your ability to appreciate what you have. I could learn from that...
Jan. 1st, 2013 01:42 am (UTC)
Happy new year and I hope 2013 is wonderful for you!

I'm totally rooting for you, even though we're total strangers. <3 I loved your books and I love your paintings, so whatever creative work you do... know that it has an eager audience.
Jan. 1st, 2013 04:07 am (UTC)
Hi Billy! Happy New Year! I've never commented on your journal before, thought I've read it on and off for many years. I hope 2013 is a great year for you! I am an FTM myself and I know the frustration and the longing and how hard it is when you first start T. Best of luck with everything. My future wife went to college in NOLA and loves the city well.

BTW I was raised in Blackpool! I've just been there to see my parents for Christmas. Wish I'd sent you some rock.
Jan. 1st, 2013 06:55 am (UTC)
TUMS Freshers have been saving my life re: chronic heartburn. Just saying. Relief AND minty-fresh breath.
Jan. 3rd, 2013 02:47 am (UTC)
Just wanted to say that, while I lurk and don't comment, I'm rooting for you and hope 2013 is great.
( 14 comments — Leave a comment )

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