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Dick For A Day

While packing up my contributor's copies (which filled nine boxes -- jeez, I was pretty prolific at one time), I found my copy of this anthology.

Two years of using men's restrooms has made me hate that U.S. cover more than ever, but I do find it interesting that while the premise is women writers talking about what they'd do if they had penises, at least two of the contributors, me and Patrick (then Pat) Califia, now identify as male.

(I don't remember who wrote it, and I no longer have the book handy, but the funniest piece was one that simply read -- I paraphrase -- "I would sit quietly until it went away.")

Crossposted at Dreamwidth. Comment here or there, as you will.


( 7 comments — Leave a comment )
Mar. 10th, 2013 11:00 pm (UTC)
What's it like using the mens room after years of using the women's room?
Mar. 11th, 2013 01:42 am (UTC)
Not that different. Stinky in a way I find easier to deal with than the stink of women's restrooms, probably on some obscure pheromonal level.
Mar. 11th, 2013 06:48 am (UTC)

Clare Cumming
Mar. 11th, 2013 12:21 pm (UTC)
"I would sit quietly until it went away."

This cracked me up. That is EXACTLY what I would do in the event of sudden penis acquisition, as they scare the everloving bejesus out of me.
Mar. 13th, 2013 01:30 am (UTC)
I love these sorts of things, especially when the narrative goes

"First I'd pee standing up. Then I'd try masturbating. Then I'd go have sex with a woman. Then I'd try anal sex with the girl. And then I'd (use penis repeatedly for sexual purposes - averaging something like two orgasms an hour, etc)"

to which any man alive goes

"as if any woman would just go "oh hey, sure. let's have sex right now. Multiple times in multiple positions to satisfy your curiosity? Hey, use me however you want."

oh, and as for masturbating twice, then trying to have sex twenty three times in the next eight hours? Good luck with that."
Mar. 13th, 2013 01:40 am (UTC)
I mean, not yours. Others I've read over the years.....

the weirdest one was "I wish it had a zipper, so I could keep my lipstick in it or use it for something USEFUL." I was like "makes me wonder what you're doing with the genital configuration you've got now..."
Mar. 14th, 2013 08:51 pm (UTC)
Sounds like the lady who wants a zipper is one of those strange girls who uses her vagina for storage.

I have the good luck of having polyamorous relationships with a few bisexual people who I think would be up for a day of penis-for-a-day fun, if that unlikely event happened. I would want to get a blowjob from my boyfriend, have PIV sex with my girlfriend (hopefully I'd have enough notice to arrange for her to make the hour-and-a-half drive to see me for this) and then, if I was still up for more sex, possibly have anal sex with my husband. I don't know if I'd do all these things to the point of orgasm, or if I'd switch off pre-orgasm. I might masturbate experimentally, but probably not to orgasm unless my penis had incredible sex drive. Then I think at the end of the day I'd be happy to go back to having a vagina, hopefully.

But there is no amazing penis-for-a-day tech, and probably won't be anytime soon, so it's only hypothetical.
( 7 comments — Leave a comment )

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