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If You Were A Man

billyargh
I'm due for a testosterone shot today, but I won't be having one because my latest doctor apparently cares more about covering his ass than he does about his patients' well-being. I thought we got along well at my first visit several months ago; he admitted he didn't know much about trans health care, but seemed willing to learn. He also sent me for some pricey blood work, but when you see a new doctor, that's to be expected. I got the blood work, got my T prescription, and was fine until it ran out last month, at which point I called his office to see if I needed to come in or could just get a refill. Here is my best attempt at paraphrasing his return call.

DR: Is this Ms. Brite?

ME: Uh, this is MISTER Brite.

DR: Yes, well, I got the results of your blood work here and ... I don't know how to read it. You've seen those commercials about the dangers of testosterone? I mean, if you were a man, these results would be normal, but ... I just don't know about this stuff. I need you to have your previous doctor send me your blood levels.

Those italics are mine, and yes, he really said "if you were a man." At our visit, I was very clear about my gender identity. I realize that many doctors are biological essentialists, but in my opinion, that doesn't exempt them from acting like decent human beings. I'm not even going to get into his apparent inability to educate himself, or to maybe, you know, fucking ADMIT TO ME THAT HE WASN'T GOING TO before having me spend $250 on useless lab work.

I have an appointment with a new doctor, a GP who is reportedly educated on and sympathetic to trans issues, but not until next week. In the meantime, I have Internet-ordered testosterone that cost twice as much as my regular prescription coming from Slovakia, but it's not here yet.

A few months ago, I made this shadowbox titled "It Costs $10,000 To Be A Man." I was thinking of surgery, but by the time I die, I wouldn't be surprised if I've spent that much just on doctor appointments.

1jan03-14-1asmall

Comments

( 14 comments — Leave a comment )
the_leaky_pen
Jul. 13th, 2014 09:30 pm (UTC)
God damn that is some SERIOUS fuckin ignorance. I'm really sorry that the doctor was such a jerk, Billy. Good luck with the future doctor. D:
fleurrette
Jul. 13th, 2014 10:43 pm (UTC)
What a jerk.
Sorry you had to get that.
HUGS

rubyverbena
Jul. 13th, 2014 11:57 pm (UTC)
Damn, I thought the doctor problem had gotten sorted. This is very disappointing. Best of luck with the new doctor. I really can't believe you're still having to go through this.
eac
Jul. 14th, 2014 03:49 am (UTC)
That shadowbox is amazing. The doctor, infuriating.
icecreamempress
Jul. 14th, 2014 06:38 pm (UTC)
Seconding the love for the shadowbox. It's beautiful and angry.
amberite
Jul. 14th, 2014 09:10 am (UTC)
Ergh.

The system for dealing with malpractice is pretty darn broken, but it might be lucrative to go after this asshole. There are official standards of care. He's breaking them.
bart_calendar
Jul. 14th, 2014 12:55 pm (UTC)
I can't imagine there aren't ethical problems with him pretending that he knows how to treat you and then demonstrating that he is ignorant about your medical condition.
kakern
Jul. 14th, 2014 02:26 pm (UTC)
I'm so sorry you have to keep going through this. I sure do hope that you find the doctor you deserve to have soon!
Libbi Rich
Jul. 14th, 2014 02:56 pm (UTC)
Gah. Just gah.

We went through a ton of crap of all kinds trying to find an endocrinologist who would treat Jimmy, then FINALLY found the ONE in all of Arizona who would. I count us as very, very lucky. That, of course, doesn't include the mountains of crap I go through with the insurance company every month when we get his T filled.

I'm so sorry you have to go through this shit, Billy. Have you had your birth certificate corrected to the proper gender marker yet? I've heard that helps. We're looking into it; fortunately, Jimmy was born in CA and they've just made it a whole lot easier to do.

A gentle hug flying your way, sweetie.
setsuled
Jul. 14th, 2014 06:04 pm (UTC)
that doesn't exempt them from acting like decent human beings.

Yeah. What an asshole. If he can't manage to make even that much of an effort you're probably better off without someone else for a lot of reasons.
icecreamempress
Jul. 14th, 2014 06:37 pm (UTC)
To hell with that doctor! My hope is that you can get your lab results and take them to a doctor who isn't a hateful idiot, and that that doc will help rather than try to hinder you. That's in my intentions for the day, though I wish I had more tangible help to offer.
lilituc
Jul. 15th, 2014 12:18 am (UTC)
Christ, what an asshole.
cazimirtfarley
Jul. 15th, 2014 02:07 am (UTC)
it's so fucking vile that this is so widespread... my partner went through something similar right after she had SRS, but it was (I shit you not) the nurses at the convalescent home FOR TRANS PATIENTS who trotted out that "if you were a woman" line. and getting access to E in a consistent manner (through an existing prescription!) has been all kinds of trouble as well. I hope that your next doctor is far better...
suzycat
Jul. 20th, 2014 11:59 am (UTC)
ARGH!!!! I am so sorry you had to deal with that!

I get that he's covering his own arse for fear you might be a person who'd sue if a thing went wrong healthwise, but.... GAH.

It's unbelievably bad that your OWN doctor made these misgendering errors. I can't understand why any trans person's file would not have a giant sticker on it alerting users as to the correct gender and the need to use correct pronouns etc.
( 14 comments — Leave a comment )

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